Les Brown... GET PAST YOUR FEARS

A Must Watch!



Take Care Butterflies! Continue Becoming......

Uncertainty...

A few weeks ago, on my way to becoming a Graduate I was so sure of my completion of my degree. Today I'm no longer so sure.
A few months ago, I secured two part time jobs, I was so sure that this would be a great addition to my current income. Today I'm not so sure.
All summer my attitude was energetic, happy, and ready for the world. Today I'm not so sure.

I'm facing difficulties on my way to becoming, Butterflies, and it's hard. Have you ever been in that place where you future looks bright, you are always told that great things are ahead of you, and then you find yourself in that spot where it doesn't look so great?

I'm feeling like I'm at the end of the tunnel, the light, I can see it, but somethings obscuring my view. It's this feeling that I've walked through all of this darkness to arrive to a light that I can't touch. An end I can't see.

I always felt bad for Moses, who walked in the wilderness with such stubborn people only to get to the promise land, see it, and not be able to cross over in it. How dissappointing was that? To see the vision he'd been told of but not be able to experience it. He beheld it's beauty but couldn't touch it. In this story I'm sure going to heaven, being taken up by God was such a glorious experience.

Here in my time though, I don't think God will be catching me up anytime soon. (I don't know anyone's day or hour). I do believe God has plans for me on this earth. I do believe my life means something to this world. I have to use that energy up right!

But somehow I find myself in these places, you know. Maybe my past is catching up with my future. The choices I made way back when, or even a few months ago before things started going well, maybe those consequences are catching up with my current vision. I can't live with past mistakes right now though. I have to find a way to get to that light. I can't go back. I can't stomach it.

Question: How?

These are answers I ask people who've endured and who've made it. right now I suppose it was their hard work, their tireless days, and their sheer determination. I feel so disconnected right now, like I've been dealt a blow and I'm trying to re-orient myself with the world I'm in. I'm trying to find that fight when it feels as if my resources are being stolen.

It's like trusting God all the way through, and then he leaves you in the midst of the fight. It's like wait God, you said trust you, and then you dip! 0_o
You leave me, you take your hand off of me, you disappear and I'm lost. My end is right there in sight, I can't just walk to it, the obstacles haven't left, what do I do?

Fear causes you to scream out for help. When it looks as if this external things is to great of a thing for you, you scream help. Sometimes it seems no one can hear you. It can be sad....

Yet I still believe because believing is what got me this far.

So I'm walking with my head up. I'm praying all the way through. I know he's not completely gone,but I need to navigate this, I need to use the tools he taught me along the way and figure this out. It feels like he's playing a trick on me. Like I opened the wrong door, thinking it was the right one... but it's okay.
I'm no quitter. This process has surely built me into a stronger woman. I've seen the ugliest of days, I can't go back there so I'm pursuing the prettiest!

Butterflies I can't say this enough, NEVER GIVE UP HOPE.
If you quit, we all quit, and well we need us in the world.

We can't keep giving up, settling, and taking the crap life throws at us. We have to keep pushing. Who will tell our story?
In a war, whose remembered?
The people that won! The people that led the army to victory! The regiment that stuck together and fought til the death. Even if we died, came to the end of all of our efforts, let us die in victory because the next life or the new venture we try will be NEWNESS and LIGHT! And we start again. At least when you start over, you've gained your battle scars and you know what to expect.

DON'T GIVE IN, AND NEVER GIVE UP!

Good day butterflies!

Encouraging YOU. Encouraging MYSELF.

Today as I type... I'm in my feelings.
You would think that after all I've been through, all that I've seen, I've endured, persevered through, and made up my mind about... You would think that this moment would be something I pushed through with great might and strength!
Well I'm in my feelings. I thought of my blog, the encouragement of random people deriving from my everyday experiences, and I smiled. I'm inspired when I inspire.
It makes me happy. It gives me peace and it reminds me that I'm worth something. I am of value. I am a tree.
I want you all to be encouraged as I encourage myself. We are shaken, tossed about, thrown away, made to think we are less than, and we are torn down but only, ONLY, to be built back up again. Only to be reconfigured into something greater.
Think of it as a computer, downloading updates, being reconfigured, made to manifest better actions than before. We are becoming greater through our struggles.
We must learn, or take that update.
I think of how many times my computer says "installing updates", "postpone or shut down".
Depending on what I'm doing at the moment I hardly ever shut down when the update is ready. I wait until I'm ready.
I never know the validity of that update though. I never know what it's going to help my computer do.
We never know what a trial will do for us. We always see it as a upset in our plans. We never grab hold of the trial and fly with it. We fight against it often times until we are shut down, until we can postpone no longer.
What I'm going through at this present moment is huge in my eyes, but with the guidance of Spirit I think it's not as huge as I think it is. My commitment is crucial. I see light at the end of the tunnel but when the trial becomes tough I want to leave. I have to fight that feeling to give up. It's quite easy. It has it's consequences to though. We have to think of the greatness that comes from enduring metamorphosis. We have to think about what our end will look like.
We have to think of how it will feel to have fought and won!
We also may need to know what it feels like to have fought for something and lose.
Either way, we are getting updated.

Shutting down isn't bad. It's like sitting still long enough, thinking through it long enough, and listening long enough to get the lesson out of situation.
Sometimes people hate to hear something bad about themselves, as if it's the end of the world. We deny our mishaps, and sins. We pretend it's everybody else that needs updating and not us.

Everybody else needs to have "several seats" but not us.
But you sin, I sin. You make wrong choices that hurt people. I do too. You give up on something that you have control over. I have too. It doesn't make you any less of a person.

Stand up anyway and push on through and see what the end will be.

I listened to an Alicia Keys song today, Why am I here?
Great song.
It brought tears to my eyes. I've asked myself that question on lowly days like today.
It's a reminder that I'm here for you.
With all the things going on in the world, it can't only be about my struggle. It's about the everyone's struggle, hurt, and pain.
You can't believe that you are the only one. Sometimes people persevere through things for others, to show them that you can do it too.

I remember Tina Campbell and her journey through adultery played out before the media. She was strong. Some people thought she was a fool. I saw redemption and mercy in rare form. I saw the ability to see that people are able to choose out of their brokenness and in return hurt someone else. It doesn't mean that you abandon them.
 Maybe that's why we don't admit our mistakes, we are afraid of being abandoned.

Of course her husband had to show and prove his faithfulness but what I'm getting at here is the love for yourself and for others. If you can love yourself through, love others through it, I think it'll make it easier for you to get through whatever you may be facing that day.

No one is perfect. Being perfect is not  requirement for success. You can have success, of course you'll have to take those updates and quit putting them off, but ask yourself who do you know that is perfect in every way?
God please stand up! Right....

Today I'm loving myself in spite of people, circumstances, and my ability to downgrade myself when God is clearly trying to give me some updates.

Be blessed my butterflies!

Since the last time....

Since the last time I posted I was finding myself back at one. Back to the first thing that ignited passion and a thirst within me that couldn't be quenched. The first thing. Since the last time I wrote I feel absolutely alive. I feel good. I feel lighter, and I feel accomplished. I have not reached the climactic point of my journey but I'm feeling the pleasure of getting there. I have definitely hit some mile markers that says I'm closer that I've ever been.
It's amazing and I'm in love. I'm in love.
I'm that tree. I'm aware of my "loathsome" body and the beautiful shade that people like to sit under. I'm aware of both and I see how they work together to create who I am.
Along this journey, I'm learning that we lose our way. We do attempt to fill in the blanks when things are quiet, when things aren't moving fast enough, when things don't seem to go to plan WE start to fill in the blanks.
A quote from a book I'm currently reading said, "when we make a choice, we are also choosing our consequence".
When we choose to fill in the blanks, we also chose to detour from our original route to accommodate for our feeling that we aren't good enough, that we aren't going to make it happen, we fill in the gaps of our doubts instead of waiting patiently and going with the flow. Even if the flow is slow. The pace will pick up sooner or later but for right now just be still.
I'm in the middle of silence right now. I actually love it. I hate when it's interrupted. I want to hear what God is saying, I want to feel the peace of nothingness and everything all at the same time. I want to enjoy this moment because its going to get busy again and I may not visit this place as often as I should. I'll probably come here in a deep sigh or longing memory of what it's like but it may be a minute. I need to fix that........ right. I'm still becoming.
But I love it here. I picked up this book and I'm reading it and I'm feeling great and my future is more promising. This book is helping me through the silence.
 Another quote from the book talks about easy journey's.
I watch my kids, they opt for easy journey's. Things always seem better if mom does it. The truth is if I always do it, they won't grow.
If becoming was easy, fast, immediate, without strife, heartache, or trouble we wouldn't grow. We wouldn't become in the fashion that we desire. And what we become would be so maimed, handicapped, disabled, and broken because we didn't do the work necessary for a successful emergence into the world. I've seen a butterfly broken, hopping along the ground, trying to flap its wings but unable to fly. It is a butterfly but unable to function as one. 

We can find ourselves in that place if we don't go through the hardships it takes to grow.
You will make mistakes. But think of the consequence you are choosing for yourself when you make hasty decisions.
After the decision is made and the damage has been done its another hard thing you will have to go through. If you have any control over your destiny, your path, the way in which you desire to live, then make choices that give healthy consequences. We will not always get it right but we can get ourselves on the right path by appreciating the silent days, and purposely accepting the challenges that life brings. It's for your good. It doesn't feel like it. It hurts something serious. It makes you want to quit but I've never seen a bodybuilder become all that he is without the aches and pains radiating through his muscles. I've never seen a teacher become all she has without the student who refuses to learn or can't learn. I've never seen a preacher be all that he can be without a sinner in the midst that seems impossible to reach. For those reasons I dare to go forward. Because of the one's unable to be reached, I push forward. For the challenge.....

I saw a photo once of a homeless lady, it was photographed beautifully. How could someone's tragedy be beautiful in my eye's? Hope.
The reality of our world and the hope of our future.

Message of Hope:
Don't give up. Don't take the easy way out. Don't get distracted when you are in silence. Embrace it. Your time will come and you'll emerge a beautiful butterfly.

Back at 1One.

While embracing and going with the flow of life I must say its been hard however my embracing of it makes it flow easier.
I'm not fighting against it I'm just being in the moment and walking in the way which I feel led to walk. I've been praying a lot, and asking others to pray for me. I've been prioritizing better and getting things in correct perspective.
So now today as a result of my recent adventures I say to my readers who are in the way to becoming, slow down, you have time. When we move in haste we can bring along unwanted chaos, drama, critics, and negative energy.
I can also say that I can see how chaos erupts in your life as a cry out for order. Things can get really weird, you can find yourself in places of unfamiliar pain, hurt, and despair. You can find yourself misunderstanding and misunderstood. In those moments I believe our lives seek order. Put it in order.
I asked the Lord in prayer where did I miss it, where did I go wrong......
I felt the spirit ask what was the first thing....so as Bryan McKnight sang so beautifully, I'm back at one.
Sometimes you have to go back in your mind and find out why you started along the path you did in the first place. What was the original idea, go back to that and keep it simple.
I've been lured away from the first thing by TV and others thoughts. I lost track of my own. With the world saying follow your dreams, own your own business, create your own path I somehow felt I should do that, losing sight of the truth that I've known where my passion lies for a very long time. I almost went so far off the mark set 10+ years ago, that I could have been lost in something that had nothing to do with my purpose.
Not having faith in yourself will do that to you.

Have faith not just in your higher power but have faith in yourself, your capabilities, the gifts granted you to offer the world.

I'm learning that we make mistakes, and choices that effect our entire lives, be wise, be thoughtful, be mindful, be honest, and pray often.

Message of hope: There's a guiding light within you, turn off the noise from the outside, listen to the voice of Spirit and follow the light of truth.
-Sharhonda

Embrace it!

Just finished watching Unconditional, a movie based on the life of a guy from Nashville, TN who turned his life around after spending time in prison he dedicated himself to the development of inner city kids. The story is just beautiful. I won't recap the entire movie, I just wanted to share how things like this movie renew my hope and fan the flames of my passion.
If you've followed my latest blogs you'll notice I've been in a state of frustration, doubt, discomfort, and anxiety about my present-future.
Anytime I can find a quote, passage, verse, movie clip, interview, etc that offers empowerment I'm front and center soaking it in.
Usually though these movie clips and words of encouragement find me. I need them, and they come along during my search or in accordance with a groan I've uttered not from my lips but from somewhere deep between my thoughts and my gut.
I needed to watch Unconditional tonight. I didn't realize the impact it would have on me.

Papa Joe, the main character in the movie, said when"Sarah" lost faith that it was ok because He, meaning God is patient.
I think of how I've questioned my process of becoming and realized while I'm frustrated with timing, I'm rushing myself as if I'm on some schedule, God knows and he's patient. Throughout my life experiences I've learned that we evolve all in our own time depending upon what circumstances we are provided with.  I interpret this as I should be patient with me. I'm being prepared. Because I'm focused on a goal I'll make it toward that goal no matter the mistakes or uncontrollable's.....
Besides nobody is rushing me, nobody has this expectation but me, and possibly society sense it moves so fast!
But anyway.....the truth?
>>I need to practice the art of stillness and just trust the process, go with the flow.
Now lets be real somethings are painful, they must be attended to but we can't let them disappoint us and lead us into automatic prediction of failure. Sometimes the course changes.
Having an extra dose of the anxiety gene sometimes leads to seeing the worst first....and it often frightens you before there's anything to be frightened of..... Dang gene! ;)

This year I prayed that God would help me narrow things down, truly find what it is I am to do and go for it. Indeed that is happening. Its what I sought for, intended and expected. I didn't know how that would come packaged, and crazy enough I was surprised when the package arrived! Lol But now I embrace it. I trust the process and believe in myself, The Tree! One day I'll write about how I can't believe I am where I am, then again I may say Look where I am because I embraced the process and went with the flow.

Message of hope: Persevere. Simple.

I'm a Tree!

My last post generated some very positive and eye opening comments. I was very frustrated and in my feelings about my current state of being. The comments shared were such jewels that I had to share my discovery!
So first I'd like to say a heartfelt thank you to those who lent their time and energy to read what I had to say. I appreciate you!

Secondly I'd like to make a few points.....
I was told I am the tree. I provided a shade for others to sit under......basically that I loved one part of me and loathed the other and that I needed to accept all of me.
My goodness the spiritual-emotional connection from that gave me butterflies.
I can see where that truth is active in my life. This has been a year of true awakening for me. Not at all easy because sadly enough there have been times I might have rather stayed asleep. However I needed to face somethings and if I didn't I could ruin my own life. My babies deserve more than that. So here I am sharing my success and failures with people from all over the globe.
Okay so back to the tree.
Without the loathsome part of me I couldn't provide the shade for people to sit under. I need to embrace that raggedy looking bark (lol I wish you could hear me say that)......... I am  embracing it. Period.
Which leads me to the other comment. Along the same lines that I am the tree, I bear a unique fruit. Maybe I don't see it all the time. This too rings true. Boy do I have some becoming to do!! Smh
In my last post I remember writing that I ask who I am and in the next moment may know full well who I am. I believe I have known but I've lacked necessary tools to support who I am. To stand up in it, and stick my chest out, proudly displaying me. All of me like superman with his S on his chest.
He's a superhero, no questions asked. He just is.
The tree just is.
I need to just be.
I am.

So with these wonderful insights I reckon the war I'm fighting with in me is accepting, not being afraid, not apologizing, and not caring about the people! Acceptance. That dang acceptance.
I believe by nature we try to attach ourselves to some group, and in its most primitive form its due to survival. The heart needs love and we need people to count on to help when we are down. People we can trust.
Being that like many others I've been hurt and my trust-o-meter is always on, Working overtime sometimes, Needs to be lowered or balanced at times lol but what I'm getting at is because of a few things in my life out of my control I now have to repair broken pieces in order for my life to make sense. In order for me to realize the tree that I am.

This morning I'm breathing in this fresh summer breeze, taking in all things God. I'm accepting of this truth and I'm applying it to my life. Even though I've been broken I now I have to not only see my brokenness but the whole and healed part of me that grew from that brokenness. I've been shaped and molded from several experiences in my life. Its made me who I am today. Am I perfect? Not quite but I'm strong, resilient, faithful, loving, caring, beautiful, smart, intellectual, joyful, and so many other things..............

I provide something great to those who can receive me and appreciate me.
I'm thankful for those loving and heartfelt people.
I'm thankful for learning my place and I'm thankful that I can focus more on where I want to go.
Life is full of challenges becomers. Depending on how hard you've been hit it can be hard to make a comeback but my loves its not impossible. I'm living proof!

Message of hope: We've been broken, bruised, abused, betrayed, lied on, and then someone had the nerve to press repeat! Lol right! But you are hear, reading about my mess, and you see I'm still pushing and because of that I have a lot to offer the world. Its the idea of the rose from the concrete. Something you thought impossible is possible and like my fav motivational speaker says "and its necessary!"
Becomers YOU ARE NECESSARY! Don't get caught hiding your greatness because of your brokenness. Your greatness will heal your brokenness!
-Sharhonda

I'm sharing a pic below that my son drew on 4th of July. My mom always buys chalk for the kiddies. My life must be going in the order that it should because the tree keeps popping up around me!
Thank you again for reading!