It's amazing and I'm in love. I'm in love.
I'm that tree. I'm aware of my "loathsome" body and the beautiful shade that people like to sit under. I'm aware of both and I see how they work together to create who I am.
Along this journey, I'm learning that we lose our way. We do attempt to fill in the blanks when things are quiet, when things aren't moving fast enough, when things don't seem to go to plan WE start to fill in the blanks.
A quote from a book I'm currently reading said, "when we make a choice, we are also choosing our consequence".
When we choose to fill in the blanks, we also chose to detour from our original route to accommodate for our feeling that we aren't good enough, that we aren't going to make it happen, we fill in the gaps of our doubts instead of waiting patiently and going with the flow. Even if the flow is slow. The pace will pick up sooner or later but for right now just be still.
I'm in the middle of silence right now. I actually love it. I hate when it's interrupted. I want to hear what God is saying, I want to feel the peace of nothingness and everything all at the same time. I want to enjoy this moment because its going to get busy again and I may not visit this place as often as I should. I'll probably come here in a deep sigh or longing memory of what it's like but it may be a minute. I need to fix that........ right. I'm still becoming.
But I love it here. I picked up this book and I'm reading it and I'm feeling great and my future is more promising. This book is helping me through the silence.
Another quote from the book talks about easy journey's.
I watch my kids, they opt for easy journey's. Things always seem better if mom does it. The truth is if I always do it, they won't grow.
If becoming was easy, fast, immediate, without strife, heartache, or trouble we wouldn't grow. We wouldn't become in the fashion that we desire. And what we become would be so maimed, handicapped, disabled, and broken because we didn't do the work necessary for a successful emergence into the world. I've seen a butterfly broken, hopping along the ground, trying to flap its wings but unable to fly. It is a butterfly but unable to function as one.
We can find ourselves in that place if we don't go through the hardships it takes to grow.
You will make mistakes. But think of the consequence you are choosing for yourself when you make hasty decisions.
After the decision is made and the damage has been done its another hard thing you will have to go through. If you have any control over your destiny, your path, the way in which you desire to live, then make choices that give healthy consequences. We will not always get it right but we can get ourselves on the right path by appreciating the silent days, and purposely accepting the challenges that life brings. It's for your good. It doesn't feel like it. It hurts something serious. It makes you want to quit but I've never seen a bodybuilder become all that he is without the aches and pains radiating through his muscles. I've never seen a teacher become all she has without the student who refuses to learn or can't learn. I've never seen a preacher be all that he can be without a sinner in the midst that seems impossible to reach. For those reasons I dare to go forward. Because of the one's unable to be reached, I push forward. For the challenge.....
I saw a photo once of a homeless lady, it was photographed beautifully. How could someone's tragedy be beautiful in my eye's? Hope.
The reality of our world and the hope of our future.
Message of Hope:
Don't give up. Don't take the easy way out. Don't get distracted when you are in silence. Embrace it. Your time will come and you'll emerge a beautiful butterfly.
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