Discouragement is creeping in.....

My truth right now is that fear of the unknown sits in my belly. Fear that I'll fail yet once again. Fear that the journey I've embarked upon will be put off another five years due to lack of finances or resources. I'm afraid that my journey could possibly become a thing of the past, it'll never happen and all of this dreaming I'm doing is but a fantasy in a life that only exist outside of this one. Maybe it's my past life I envision or the one to come. I'm afraid because now my dreams are more tangible than they've ever been. I question my visions, my relationships, my choices over and over again even though it all feels so good inside and so right. It's like I'm the ball on a tennis court where my past self and future self hold the racquets. I'm back and forth. I'm struggling with the great possibilities that I've never experienced and the many failures that I have.
It can be a lonely place because friends & family may not get you our your vision. Your conversation or lack thereof is different. For me, I'm so preoccupied with my growth that I often times put friendships on the back-burner. It's indeed lonely. Yet, I have things that I'm trying to acquire. I have things that I'm trying to accomplish. I'm working very hard to defeat all that's come against me in my life. I'm working very hard to overcome that part of me that is prone to depression, sadness, procrastination, and avoidance. Gaining success, as you define it, is hard. Getting over yourself is part of that journey. You have to break through barriers.
I'm learning as I go.
I looked myself in the mirror today because I feel a fierceness growing inside of me that I've lacked before in previous attempts of making my dreams come true. I saw the pain of my past and at the same time I could see the possibilities and strength I possessed for my future.
I could see the eye of the tiger, the determination, the desire, and ambition to get what I want. I have that inside of me. I have what it takes but I would be a lie if I said I'm not afraid. I've never been on that side of fearlessness and confidence. I've never used this part of me as I should. I've been clueless to this part of me but now I feel and see her more often.
Writing and encouraging you all helps me see myself and the gifts I possess. I believe in myself and my gifts more. I'm on my way to becoming along with you all who read my blogs. The things I read and listen to, the things I'm inspired by I share with you. The things that motivate me to keep pushing despite trials and tribulations I share with you. Becoming a Butterfly is my testament to how I got over.
Others who tell their stories of success forget to give the grueling details. I know it's not a piece of cake but how hard is it? I know it doesn't always happen over night, tell me did you cry? Did you almost die? Did you lose your mind? Did you lose friends, were you lonely? Success stories paint colorful pictures leaving out the details leaving those of us eager to enter the realm of success ignorant of the hard truth. The truth that those beautiful colors didn't come without hardwork. It came with failures, many gray areas, and hard choices. Success takes time to build. The construction of it is really a reconstruction of you.

Everyday I have to remind myself that I can get to the place I dream of and I have to remind myself that it's possible. I have to build my faith everyday.
I'm starting with what many consider nothing. But I've learned that what I have is enough. I have to use it to my advantage. I have to make my nothing become something. Just as the God of creation brought life out of a dark and void earth.
I have to remind myself daily and listen to others who've made it.
I can't afford to go to conferences and seminars, I can't purchase books, buy needed materials, or make a huge investment; but I can research, educate myself, and ask for help among other things. It's hard but I believe what I obsess about plagues me for a reason. It's mine. I press on because it's divinely implanted in me. It's taken root and sprouted. It's my purpose, my path, and my position. I'm not going to quit. I have to rise up to the occasion. I have to conquer my fears and break the barriers.
Thanks for reading my fellow Becomer.
I'm pressing on!

No matter what WIN the race!

How many of us have the courage to fall, without anytime to contemplate how or why, get back up and keep running?
This almost brought me to tears. This young lady was determined. She could have stayed down, waited for someone to come to her aid, but she got up off the ground and pushed until she won.
It's amazing when the strength you possess rises up to meet your will, passion, and determination! Good day Becomers.

A must watch:

Let's win no matter what!

Gravity II

In my last post about the movie Gravity, I raved about the sheer endurance it takes to get to where you need to be in life.
I want to delve a little deeper because I want my readers to not only be motivated but immersed in their goal and I want you to relate to the strive it takes for some of us to make them reality. This movie was that for me. Watching Sandra Bullock endure made my insides cringe but to see her triumph after the emotional rollercoaster she'd been on gave me hope. She didn't only endure losing her ship mates, she saw them dead, she saw lifeless bodies floating around her. I thought to myself would I be able to compose myself? Would I be able to lose someone, see their lifeless body floating pass me, and continue in fighting for my own life?
She was able to find strength battle after battle. It's times like that on this road to "success" that people question themselves. I certainly have. It's times like these that cause you to seek help and you just may as well find none. How do you push past those things in order to make your dreams and goals a reality? That's where it's at. The struggle lives in the middle between seeing the vision in your mind and executing it. Bringing those pieces from your mind into reality. You can see something so clearly. Feel it so deeply and be frustrated because for one reason or another you can't reach it. Sandra Bullock could see earth.
She knew very much what it felt like, she understood her feelings that were connected to it but she had to go through hell to get back to it.
There's a passion, a fire, ultimately a will that we must possess. With that will we must exhaust every possibility known, suggested, and obeyed to get to where we need to be. In order for us to see our dreams become real we have to fight against all odds, even if it makes your skin itch like poison ivy, your headache like a migraine x10, no matter if you see people die, or if people decide you aren't worth their time.....No matter the situation or tragedy, You! Me! We can't give up. If we do we forfeit our dreams. Everything we've shared about our dream or not has been given up and the next person to grab it won't do it the way you were designed to. You'll see them from the sidelines and find yourself giving pointers on a dream perhaps you could have built with more creativity and effectiveness than your friends. You are the innovator. The creator. The magician so to speak that will make the wheels start turning on this machine. YOU ARE.
So on our way to Becoming we will have set backs, set ups, let downs, and delays but we won't give up. We won't stop because the truth is
IT'S POSSIBLE.
WE ALL HAVE TO KNOW THAT AND BELIEVE IT BEYOND ANY HANG UP OR SHORTCOMING. BEYOND ANY DISAPPOINTMENT OR ATTACK. BEYOND ANY NAY-SAYER OR ENEMY. BEYOND ANY ROCK OR CURVE IN THE ROAD. WE HAVE TO MAKE UP OUR MIND AND BELIEVE IT'S POSSIBLE. OUR WILL HAS TO SAY YES NO MATTER HOW MANY NO's WE GET. NO IS UNACCEPTABLE. WE MUST RISE TO EVERY OCCASION AND GET WHAT WE DREAM ABOUT. DON'T CRY OVER IT UNLESS YOU ARE DETERMINED TO GET IT.

Sandra went the extra mile. She endured the worst of circumstances. She almost let go but she has inspiration that made her keep pushing. Once she got there she saw that it was good and was thankful. Had she given up there would be no hope for us who dream big.

Much love to you becomers.

On the way to the top....Denzel speaks wisdom!

Watching this video early morning, I'm thankful to have come across it. You never know what's needed to push you through your day, or through to your next level.
Denzel Washington reminds us that between our goal and actual achievement of that goal is consistency and discipline. I hope this gives you fuel as it did me.

"Inspiration flew in on the wings of a bird and I caught it through the whisper of the wind"
-Sharhonda Kirksey


Enjoy the speech below!

Gravity

Floating in space Sandra Bullock defeated all odds, even the desire to just drift away never to live again..... She could have gave up but she held on to the end. Lets just get on with this awesome and timeless piece of wisdom!
This movie excited me because it tells a story that I know all to well. The story of struggle. We all may go through it at some point in our lives and some of us may experience it most of our lives....endlessly seeking our higher power for a break through.
I won't spoil the movie but in a nutshell Sandra is an astronaut whose crew is basically shipwrecked out in space. Eventually the entire crew dies and she's left in space alone.
It was aggravating to watch. It gave me such anxiety. Floating in space with hardship after hardship was something hard to fathom. It was lonely. It was sad, and it was gut wrenching at times.  She was out there all alone, unable to reach anyone for help, and had no one to count on for direction or so it seemed. Many of us have been in familiar situations where tragedy strikes back to back without warning.
My personal story: last year a very special and close family member attempted suicide, one of my grandmothers died (Rip Granny Sue), & another very special family members life was hanging by a thread. I was attending school, working, and trying to build my dream on top of being a mother and wife. I thought I'd lose it. I wanted to GIVE UP!
In this movie Gravity whatever could possibly go wrong went wrong. I saw my life in those scenes.
Everytime I reach one goal something doesn't work right, act right, or go as originally planned. I cry, get frustrated, and ultimately I get ready to call it quits. BUT MY DREAMS AINT GOT TIME FOR THAT!!! No time for my pity parties, and no time for me walking out on them.

At the end of this movie Sandra had been in space so long that when she finally crash landed on some beach she could barely stand to her feet. She laid on the shore, filled her hands with dirt and simply said Thank You. She made it. She eventually gathered her strength and walked toward her freedom.She went through hell but she fought it. She almost gave up however she was reminded that she needed to live despite all the things she's lost.
I'm so full off of this movie. My spirit feels great because of it.
Just KNOW Becomers that life can seem extra hard, rough, down right aggravating but you can and will make it through. If you hold on long enough and do not faint. Don't quit. Keep giving it your all. One day WE will see that which we fight so hard for. Go through the struggle don't stay in it. There's purpose for you beyond the struggle!
Go watch gravity!!! :)
Good day.

Woke up feeling sour!

Lets keep it real this morning.....I woke up with a few things on my mind that I'm dealing with...On top of that I started thinking of the things I needed to tackle today. Truth is the weight on my mind feels so heavy that I said to myself, "oh maybe I'll chill today. Maybe I'll relax a lil bit". I didn't really want to face the day. But as I'm thinking about doing absolutely nothing it's as if my purpose tapped my shoulder and said "Excuse me! What do you have to do today?"

Some days we will encounter situations, people, disappointments, physical stress and other things that can cause us to lose sight of the bigger picture. On those days, think of your purpose. Think of your "Why am I doing this?" Your REASONS for being! Let your vision, your goal, your dream speak louder than anything else. Everything else is just noise!

My Facebook status today read: 

Feeling some kind of way this morning but nevertheless I'm going to press. Nobody told me the road would be easy.....but I haven't come this far to get left either. Soooo ONWARD AND UPWARD!

Good day becomers! 

Getting lonely?

On our way to becoming, one thing that may cross your mind is where are all the people? Like the escaped lion, giraffe, and hippo on the movie Madagascar. They found themselves free but looked around on the island and realized there were no people to come save them, help them, or tell them what to do. In a nutshell, they had no one's opinion but their own.

It's amazing what life lessons you can gain from a movie that was designed for kids entertainment. Although as an adult I really enjoyed it! When I get happy I sing "I like to move it-move it!'" every now and then.

Gloria, Melman, and Alex encountered several problems on that island that they had never been exposed to before. They had to deal  with all of those problems without "the people".

This past week I've had a few conversations with others that made it clear that on their way to pursuing and living out their dreams its was critical that they let go, separate themselves from, and shut the noise off from the mouths of some people.
It has been said many times by many greats that in order to succeed you have to understand that many people can't go where you are going. It's not that you are better than your friends however it does strongly imply that their mindset isn't on the level that yours is on.
Let us not be arrogant about it. Instead we should embrace our creative and ambitious minds as well as accept their current limited thinking.

It's important to see that many people do mean well. It's important to see that some have the intention to be by your side but don't have the understanding of what that really means. They can't operate in that capacity.
It's important to know that you may lose friends because you have changed...... because you have evolved.
It's important to know that people who you thought yourself close to may not call you or even ask how you are doing. They may not notice you exist until the day your book is published, or until you television show airs.  You Don't Stop Pursuing Your Dreams!

A friend I spoke with on Tuesday, I think, said, 'I used to listen to my friends and their concerns. I listened to my pastor, mother, and sister. While I was listening I learned that they were putting a damper on my dreams.They may mean well but they don't understand my passion and my goals so I had to cut the conversation short because while I'm trying to grow they keep putting limits on me".

I don't we see sometimes how true it is that when you are aspiring to be great you may really lose friends. Some may even separate themselves from you. It's truth. I hope that you who are pursuing your dreams come to realize that. Prepare yourself and expect it. It's happens to all of us. #DreamersRock
That conversation helped me to see how I put OTHERS OPINIONS on the forefront of my life sacrificing my own happiness and ultimately my dreams. I'd rather die than live on this earth having not fulfilled my purpose. What else am I here for? I have dreams, aspirations, goals, and achievements to reach before my days end. If I do none of that then my living was in vain. It was all for nothing. I'd truly be worthless without having used up the awesome potential and energy that God has infused me with.

Knowing that I have gifts to offer the world lets me know that I am worth something and that what I have people need.

*Sidebar* Many don't get that sense of purpose all of the time and I get that but at least begin to look into what you can do to make this world a better place. I don't care if you have a 9 to 5 that you work the rest of your life. Do something that gives your life meaning. That gives you satisfaction and fulfillment.

Make your life meaningful. And know that some may not understand your plight. They may not get you at all. They may question everything you do. They may say things that cause  you to wonder whose side they are really on.
Yet its totally up to you whether you make it into your land of milk and honey. Your promised land. Your field of infinite possibilities. You have to make the choice to go forth and know that being lonely is SO WORTH IT!
It's worth is because loneliness is a temporary emotion. It comes and goes. You can satisfy that emotion by going out with a friend that shares the same ambitions you do. Distract yourself with PURPOSE! Don't let loss of friends keep you bound.
Simply put in old school terms, "WHERE YOU FOUND THOSE FRIENDS, YOU'LL FIND SOME MORE".


I've said a lot in this blog, maybe not enough in the profound way that I'd like it to come across, but what I want you to walk away with is this:

YOU WILL ENCOUNTER LONELY DAYS, WEEKS, AND MONTHS. YET IT'S WORTH IT!!!!
EVERYONE ISN'T ON YOUR LEVEL OF SPIRITUAL AWARENESS AND CONNECTED-NESS, YET IT'S WORTH IT!!!
SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T GET YOU BUT AS LONG AS YOU GET YOU THEN YOU MARCH ON BECAUSE IT'S WORTH IT!!!!
Just as things WILL fall into place once you start pursuing your dreams, the right people WILL too!

Cheers to BECOMING!

Never stay down!

Good day beautiful people!

This week, This month, This year has been very challenging. As I embark on a new journey with blogging, starting a business, and completing my education I have encountered numerous set backs. I've gotten sick on days I was supposed to go to a meeting, I've had loved ones pass away, I've had NO social life, I've cried, I've been so frustrated and I've been in despair.

Many think that because you walk around with a smiling face or happy disposition that you haven't encountered hardships or that everything is peaches and cream.

The truth is I smile and I  spread love each day because I decided long ago that even though I have a dysfunctional past, and a trying present doesn't mean that I have to look like what I've gone through. I don't even have to look like what I'm presently in because I have a vision and my future looks outstanding. My attitude today reflects what I see in my tomorrow! I'm excited about that.

Not everyday will be beautiful full of light bursting out at you from every corner, however you can find the beauty in those dark, hard, and lonely days. It takes one thing that many of us don't want to do and that's WORK! We work hard enough right? The truth is for us to go higher in this world and to achieve some type of satisfaction with life we have to work at it and find it within ourselves to take control. It isn't all that easy but it's worth it.
I was contacted by a publishing company yesterday and they discussed with me how to get started writing my book, what that would entail, and how much the cost would be. With all the questions asked and notes written the one thing the representative asked me was "Are you willing to commit and do the work to get your book written?" I was hesitant because I knew he was basically saying that this is going to be WORK! But if I really want to become an author and share my experiences with the world then I have to do the WORK!
Life has its way of getting in the way of your dreams and goals but then it would be life. Les Brown says don't say I've had a bad day, say I'm having a character building day. It's our perspective of our world that determines our future relationship with it.
We can do this thing called life and we can make it work for our Good!
So even in heartache and despair we can survive. We can push through! We can reschedule, rebuild, redo, whatever it takes to make sure success happens. We may fall but we get back up.

My message of hope for those of you experiencing sadness, depression, despair, or heartache BE YE LIFTED UP! Let God's light, love and majesty come in. What I mean is open your eyes to the greater possibilities of life. There are great things all around you and possible things all around you but only YOU can make it happen with God's help. YOU have to make up your mind that even though things are rough right now I AM GOING TO MAKE IT! I WILL SUCCEED AND I WILL SEE GOOD IN THE LAND OF THE LIVING!
Those are things I say to myself daily. I have suffered from  depression but I'm still here! I have suffered from disappointments and set backs but I'm still here!
YOU NEVER STOP! YOU ALWAYS PURSUE THAT WHICH YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN HAVE!

My loves enjoy your day and remember NOTHING CAN STOP YOU!

Short and Sweet!

Not everyday do we feel the strength to go forward and press toward our goals, visions, and ambitions. Sometimes our pain is so great we feel we can't press toward anything. Each day the struggles you endure can take something from you. Sapping away at your strength little by little and by the end you didn't even notice until you feel its over. Truth is we have to feed ourselves, our faith, on a daily basis. Pour into yourself because life has a way of diminishing you if you let it. It will take away the very nutrients that kept your faith strong from the start. Don't let anyone deplete you. Don't let anyone take your focus off of living. Becomers LIVE in spite of your trials and tribulations. View them as stepping stones to becoming better! Today have faith and Go forth!

Stronger than you think.....

This week has been an emotional rollercoaster. Family issues, relationship issues, health issues, I mean you would think I'd be bitter and ready to call it quits. Matter of fact I did pass through those stages, angry, frustrated, and feeling like to heck with all of this! But I did something different. I sat and wrote a letter to myself asking why and what is wrong?!?! That letter revealed my true anxieties and fears. Yessss fears! Knowing all of this I took a different position. I'm standing. I'm watching. I'm focusing. I'm taking in all things positive. I'm remembering the promises over my life. We all encounter hardships and bad days it's our response that determines the next phase of our lives. Respond with action. As a great man said before, manage your issues don't let them manage you! On the way to building your dream, life still happens. Nothing turns off because you have discovered your purpose and because you are now acting on that revelation. Life still happens. Don't let it overtake you. Don't allow situations to distract you nor take you off the path. It's time we learned to truly push through the pain.

Allow me to introduce you to one of my fictional SHERO's......... G.I. Jane (one of my fav movies), she wanted to join an all male army. They stripped her of everything to stop her from pressing toward her goal. Oh yes she cried, she was humiliated, she retaliated too. But the greatest thing she did was suck it all up and pass every test they could think of. She stood strong in the face of adversity and literally had to fight until the last minute. Just because we are pursuing purpose doesn't mean everyone is on our team and all of a sudden we win. You still have to keep pushing! With your new knowledge of how this goes.....exercise your faith muscle, your endurance muscle, your character, and your emotional muscle because you'll need all of them to stand the test on the way to becoming!