Walking the Walk

In each stage of life I've experienced I've aimed at becoming who God has called me to be. I've reached high, decided to follow my dreams, and become someone whose name is worth remembering. What I hadn't realized throughout all of the attempting to become is how I didn't want to go the extra mile. I didn't want to feel the pain at the deepest level. I was working continuously at a surface level. Admitting my pain, doing work that was easy for me to grasp, and never holding the hand of sorrow with confidence that one day I'd let it go. I ran from pain because I couldn't see my way through it. It takes a bold, strong, compassionate, person that mirrors what you desire to be to pull you out of your mess, put you in front of a mirror and show you the mess that's stained the very threading of your clothes. That person calls up the Queen in you that lost herself under all the rubble and requires that she clean herself and take position on her throne.
The queen, in the midst of cleaning herself and taking the advice, is  experiencing the freedom as she's cleansing each part of herself. The dirt and grime, she peels it off layer by layer, and hates it. But the work.... The work must be done.

I didn't realize the excuses I made. I didn't pay attention to the cushion I was creating for others in my life, making my reality a miserable one. I couldn't see clearly that I was loving, caring, and helping others, without ever giving that to myself. I needed that experience of love for myself and I neglected myself.
Wow! What an admission right?
To finally see that the weeds that had been blocking your path for years, through failed attempts, through ugly mistakes, were weeds grown from your emotional garden. They weren't weeds planted by anyone else. I'd never tended my garden with intent, I hadn't raked the fall leaves from it, never protected the flowers from frost, and only pulled up what was easy to reach, and I expected it to grow up into something magnificent. My weeds were so high I couldn't see through to the other side. I couldn't see. That reality saddens me. I have written many an  inspirational moment, spoke to a few different crowds, and even encouraged myself about going the extra mile. I talked the talk. I walked only on the surface though..... I hadn't fully engaged myself with myself in a way that pulls up the weeds so that they never find themselves there again. I hadn't tended my garden well and as a result the beauty was covered, the ability to grow was stifled, and the joy of living was smothered.

Since seeing this and meeting the Queen who was bold enough to talk to me like my garden was already pruned, I'm ready to sweat and get these weeds out. I'm ready to clear the path for more growth, and more healthy seeds, rose bushes, and lilies. I'm ready to sit upon my throne with my regal crown, glittering in excellence!

My stomach turns even now to think of the choices I have to make, but I think of a quote from the movie Creed, in so many words, Rocky Balboa says to Adonis Creed, "the person in the mirror is your only opponent, the guy across from you, he's just in way.... get him out of the way.....". I'm my only opponent, anything that comes along my path is just something there to bring out something in me. I choose if I'm winning or losing but I'm not to get hung up on the thing, the journey isn't about the thing, it's about me.

Becomer's, I've said many of times this road won't be easy....it's the truth if nothing else is, but as my favorite Les Brown says, "It's necessary", and it's worth the freedom.

Keep pushing until the end. No one holds us back but ourselves. Let's walk the walk!

30 Things: In honor of Invisible Illness Awareness Week

I've shared with my readers several times I'm an undiagnosed diva without a cause. I have not shared what doctors suspect and what I do lean toward as I'm in this journey. In honor of Invisible Illness Week I'm sharing 30 Things about myself and the suspect illness! I'm sharing as well my dealings with Trigeminal neuralgia. If you suffer from a chronic or invisible illness share and support fellow spoonies! To understand spoonies please Google spoon theory.
Without further delay here are my 30 Things!!!

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know

1. The illness I live with is: Trigeminal Neuralgia and suspected Multiple sclerosis.
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: ....October 2014 I was diagnosed with TN. After TN, which is a first sign in some patients with MS, other symptoms followed. I haven't had an official MS diagnosis because even though I'm highly symptomatic I have to meet certain criteria and docs are reluctant. I've been getting test, for what will be a year in October, that eliminate diseases that mimic MS.
3. But I had symptoms since: I recall years ago thinking I suffered a stroke. My face was numb, my arms were weak, shortly after I begin developing terrible migraines. I'd say it's been at least ten or 15 years I've had episodes of numbing and itching, weakness and dizziness. I never ever thought it was MS and docs chalked it up to migraines. Trigeminal Neuralgia started in July 2014. I thought it was tooth pain because it started like a dull ache in my gums. But it started to increase. It was beyond any pain medication that could be prescribed. Dentist called it an unusual pain.
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: With TN I've had to be careful when eating. To much pressure causes electrical like zaps to shoot across my face. It's very painful and often times I don't finish my meal because of it. I have to take caution when ppl kiss my cheek, when I brush my teeth, and when wind blows. All of those things bring pain. With MS symptoms I've really had to adjust. I've cried and felt like I've lost something. I'm getting creative though. I can't let it win!
5. Most people assume: I think ppl see me upbeat, talking, smiling and I'm ok. They don't see the days when I have to go pee several times a day because my bladder is weak, or when I'm trying not to smile to hard because TN might shock me. Ppl can't see when my muscles are tightening, and how painful that is. So they assume I can carry on normal everyday activities and not be affected because I don't look sick.
6. The hardest part about mornings are: THE PAIN! I try to stretch throughout the day. My everything hurts.
7. My favorite medical TV show is: Grey's Anatomy!!
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: ...oh don't have many gadgets. When my hands are weak I use hubby or kids hands!
9. The hardest part about nights are: Trying to go to sleep, and stay sleep. I have a lot of hand tremors at night to. They wake me up at times.
10. Each day I take pills & vitamins. (No comments, please) Antidepressants , Anticonvulsant 8x per day (for TN it's the only thing that helps control the nerve pain. Normal pain meds don't cut it). Migraine meds to. I can go a long time with a headache if I don't catch them fast enough. And I usually take Biotin a B vitamin that supports hair growth. Because of nerve damage my hair doesn't grow well in a specific spot.
11. Regarding alternative treatments I: have tried meditation, acupuncture, cannabis oil, essential oils, and herbal tea. Essential oils are my favorite!
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: ahh maybe invisible because even though I want hugs and love sometimes I don't want ppl to look at me and feel completely sorry for me. Then Idk I don't want either...as I think about it I just don't think you could choose.
13. Regarding working and career: The fatigue was so debilitating I had to resign from my job. I was a case manager working with at risk kids. I enjoyed my work.
14. People would be surprised to know: I'm pretty open I'm not sure there are any surprises!
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: I have gained weight! Mobility issues keep me from engaging in exercise like I used to. I want to learn to swim. They say water exercise is better, less impact on the muscles.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: live with it! I didn't know how life would be. I'm living it and I'm finding new ways to do things.
17. The commercials about my illness: Aren't there. No commercials exist for TN. There aren't many for MS either. I hope that changes!
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: running!!!! Exercise causes pain, fatigued muscles, and weakness.
19. It was really hard to have to give up: my work!
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: um haven't developed a hobby yet... I'm stay at home mom now with four children so I'm still busy. I guess on down time I binge on Netflix.
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: Go have fun with my family!!!
22. My illness has taught me: To be GRATEFUL. To LOVE. To be patient. To slow down. To be honest about how I feel. To trust the Spirit instead of man.
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: oh well my legs hurt to....oh well hunni go take some ibuprofen, and my religious friends...don't claim that sickness!!! Lol it's not good with my mind to pretend I don't feel what I'm feeling. I've done what I can do in the prayer department. All I can do now is trust the process.
24. But I love it when people: say, "I'm sorry that has happened to you", or "Let's focus on what you can do", or when people just treat me normal and they don't make a huge fuss...
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: The belief that God will get glory from my life. That someone will be touched through my experience. That I still have purpose. Even with this shift my purpose still remains. No quote just those truths.
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: Be patient with yourself. Be frank with people about how you feel with their comments. And be your own health advocate. No one knows your body like you and if your doctor can't get on board fire him and get a new one!
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: The increased love and openness others do share with you. Oh and how I get over things so quickly now. Some things are so small in relation to having zaps shoot through your face or muscle tremors at night!
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: visit me.
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I understand what it feels like to feel invisible.
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: respected! 

Thank you my butterflies! Until next time keep becoming.....

Are We Really Ready for Commitment?

 Yesterday I was down. I'm coming up on a year of dealing with undiagnosed illness. Doctors have yet to tell me what it is. So one could imagine having to go through aches, pains, and health scares everyday of their lives with no definitive answers to the questions asked toward medical professionals.
I have been depressed some days and angry on others. Some days I have no idea how I feel.....
I spoke with one of my best friends today and through that conversation I was reminded of a word I became more acquainted with over the last two years. That word is commitment. I've become aware that I wouldn't commit to many things out of fear. That fear almost ruined meaningful relationships. That fear almost ruined me also. So I decided to commit. To stick by friends, family, & goals no matter how much it hurt or became uncomfortable.
Being sick for a year with no relief and no idea! Can cause you to want to give up, it's drives you to desperation, it makes you angry, and it makes you dread living. My commitment has been to pursue my goals, to lead people from dark places, to rise above all circumstances, & to help others see how to get through. Commitment requires you to remain in a situation or relationship despite the hurt feelings or issues that may arise. I'm not talking extremes such as abuse but I'm talking still holding on, pursuing purpose, being a giver of life, light, & love even when those things no longer make sense to you. Because those things, that light, is growing dim, and the love, you can't feel, and your belief starts to be challenged by what you see all around you. The thing that's required of you is commitment. Stay the course, keep the faith, push forward, rest if you have to but see the project through. That light will shine again and the love you need will appear at the right moment. It'll carry you. It'll uplift you and act as a bridge to get you from one side to the other. One day we'll leave the pain of the situation and walk into our victory.  It's only if we stay committed. Don't give up just yet. Stay committed.

Much love butterflies.....My eyes are getting tired. I need to rest now. Stay committed!!!!

Into The Storm

When I started this blog, I thought, "share my thoughts, how I overcome life's circumstances and, encourage someone along the way". 
I usually am cognizant of the spiritual concept that whatever you speak you may be tested in. I don't know where exactly I learned that but as I go through life I can remember giving advice and then shortly after having to use the advice I'd given. 
Over the last year or two I've been pushed to my limits, I've questioned everything about myself until it hurts, and I've found myself here writing to you yet again about how to overcome. 
Sickness, financial difficulty, relationship issues, sick parents and siblings, my faith and perhaps yours has been tested over and over again. If you reading this and you're anything like me, it hasn't let up much to give you breath. 
Today I write because I see myself in the midst of the storm. Right under the clouds, under the pouring rain, thunder pounding like the sound of a racing heartbeat, I'm in the middle of the action. It's pretty loud, and I'm seeking shelter. It's to loud. It's as if I have an awful migraine and the light and sounds around me are turned on extra bright and the volume is extra loud. I can't stand it. So I'm moving away. I'm backing off. I'm moving away from it all to a place that is safe for me. A place where I can hear myself and God only. A place where I can retreat away from the world, hear nothingness and love it. A place where I can get away from the world and all if it's troubles because they indeed are to great for me to carry. 
I've been debating world news, others people's problems, and discussing doc visits, and life's problems. I've kept the faith and prayed for others during that time. I think I have done to much at times, risking my own spiritual and mental health. 
It's important butterflies to take time for yourself. We don't do it often enough, us caring, devoted, friendly, loving people. We pour out even when we are tired of it all because we desire to help others. We neglect our own needs in order to fulfill the mission of caring for others. 
Doing this makes you sick. Makes you look at others with anger because you didn't tell them you were tired and needed a break from their life. I can't be that person all of the time. I can't be a superhero without refueling, without taking time off from saving the day. I will always be in the midst of the storm if I don't back away. 
I think after taking this time of no phone calls, reading, and resting, I'll be rejuvenated and I'll be ready to face the world again. But first I need to empty all the garbage I've been filled with. I need to release burdens and give everything over to God. It's not mine to carry. 

It's a hard thing in becoming to shut off the noise of life's storm's but it's a necessity if you are to survive.....live, until the storm is over. And it'll be over for you. The noise will disappear. The thunder will

cease and the rain will stop. In the meantime rest and when you awake it'll be over. 

From The Heart

Hey Butterflies!

Today this entry is more selfish than previous ones. Whereas I've written about my journey and the nuggets of wisdom I've gained from them, this entry will be just me pouring my thoughts out. For months now as I have been writing, Facebook-ing, and THINKING about, many of you know I've been dealing with an illness that has yet to have been diagnosed. No treatment but plenty of symptoms.

I am sad.

I wake up feeling fine. I wake up saying to myself I'm going to make the best of the day. I wake up saying no matter what I'm going to do the best I can. After an hour or so has passed I'm terribly sad. I try to trace the sadness back to a particular thought or a particular video I may have watched while going over the morning news, (Facebook feed). I try to think over my morning and think what could have triggered me to fee this way and I can find none. I've been depressed in the past. I've had bouts of depression. I know when I'm getting sad and its mostly within the same time of the year. I understand why I feel that way when I do. Or when my monthly cycle hits, I know why I feel angry or irritated and I don't want to be bothered. I understand those chemical imbalances. I understand those REASONS.

I can only say that after almost 3 months of enduring an unknown sickness that has stopped my life in its tracks, I'm depressed. How in the hell did I reach this place? Maybe by reading daily about what my symptoms could possibly be the result of. Maybe by feeling pain, fatigue, and changes in my body on a daily basis that have no explanation. Maybe because of the course of dis-ease itself.

I have had several other major life issues since then. I have something I have to let go, not get involved in or, think carefully about. I haven't been out with my friends.I have to be very thoughtful  of how much I pack my day with because here lately just going grocery shopping warrants a nap. Not because I'm lazy but because my body can't pull the weight it feels.

I am sad because I'm sick. Because I don't know which way to go with my life at the moment. Its as if I'm here . and my dreams are way________________________________________________ over here. I can't swim, walk across, pray, fast, run, type, search, do anything in this moment to get from one end of this gap to the other. I'm waiting.

Boy have I relied on the scripture that talks about how patience produces character. I hurt right now people. I feel a burden that I've never carried before. I have no idea what to do with myself because of it. I talk to people daily who are sick, who suffer from different illnesses. How they live in spite of the illness I haven't totally understood yet.

I'm sure that purpose has to be understood and found in this place. Mine isn't all together lost but I have to find out where to detour because the way that I was originally going to take, I can't go. At least not right now.

I wish things were different. I wish that straight out of college my degree was paid for, released to me and I could have accepted the state job that was waiting for me when I graduated. Instead I had to detour because I owed the school money. I still do. A balance I can't afford. So I can't have my degree. I have to take jobs that don't challenge me in the areas that I need it to. I can't take jobs that cause me to grow as a person. And now, who even knows if I'll be able to work. If I did how effective would I be?

It seems at this time. Life has handed me a crazy hand. My friend says your life is interesting... I love color, I could use a little less of the black and grays. At this moment I need sunshine and lots of it. I need to grow despite this mess going on.... I'm not sure what to do y'all but I'm hoping that I come to a conclusion. A point which helps me as I continue to try and link my dreams with reality.

Thanks for reading!

Like most of you my dears... I'm still becoming. And I guess without intending to teach a lesson... you will see on the journey to becoming you will have days like this...

In Limbo

Over the last few weeks it's no secret that I have endured a few health issues that have yet to be diagnosed. It is no surprise that I'm often frustrated with the pain I feel and with the lack of answers I have. 

Today I saw a neurologist. I went to this neurologist thinking, "Surely I'll get some answers today!". I was nervous but excited that I'd finally gotten around to a doctor that just may understand my pain and know how to best serve me. I thought that I'd finally get to the bottom of this mysterious illness and be able to get treatment for whatever it is that has slowly interrupted my life. 

Instead I received a paper with a list of test the doc wants me to receive. A list of blood work and another MRI that I need performed to rule out all of the dis-eases it could be or could not be. I have to submit myself to more needles and tightly enclosed spaces until the results decide whether I have any of the listed dis-eases or not. 

I was angry. I was hurt. I did not get what I expected. Instead I got a fast talking doctor who no doubt was an expert in his field but didn't realize I was a human being whose life has been turned completely around due to a mysterious illness. He didn't sense the fear I felt, nor the anxiety that pumped along with the beat of my heart. He didn't see the courage it took to not call him and say I cancel the appointment and I refuse to take a chance of discovering another life altering health scare. He didn't see that I had to have the guts to invite a friend with me who would be allowed into a very sacred place in my life in order for me to feel okay to even go on this doctor visit. He simply didn't see. 

There I was sitting in this room with no life except for a picture of three girls sitting by a peaceful river. This painting situated in a room where I felt no peace. I worried. I felt full of emotion. I was afraid of the unknown and even though I prayed and had several pray for me, my uncertainties remained. I wasn't sure how I would walk out of that hospital. I had no idea what would be said to me and I wasn't prepared for the doctor to tell me that he had no idea what it was. He said plainly, "It doesn't matter what I think. The test is what tells you what you have". I just wanted closure, as my friend clearly understood as she tried offering words to comfort me. I wanted something to help me understand my life at this point. Why am I suffering this? What is this? How do I treat it? What does this mean my quality of life will be like? So many questions and no clear answers offered except, "What I can tell you is I'm going to run the necessary test until we can figure out what it is and treat it". 

As you can imagine I was very enthusiastic! NOT! I cried. I was angry. I was frustrated. I was sure I understood my symptoms better than the doctor. I have researched my symptoms. I have compared them to other diseases that mimic what I thought it could be. I can't see it being anything else. I'm sure of what I think it could be. It means nothing without test to confirm. 

So I walked away realizing that the magic word, the spiritual nugget, the word for the day was WAIT. Oh, there is a scripture I love that I mention often when going through things. That scripture says, " 3Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us". 

This scripture reminds me of who I aspire to be, not only strong, but a woman who can and will endure, a woman who has good character, and a woman who can see that after having endured, I saw the change that endurance brings about and it makes me hopeful for the future. 

Oh but the waiting! The frustration of waiting. When you don't know what the answer is. When you don't know what the symptoms mean. When you don't know what the doc thinks. When you don't know why exactly this thing is happening to you. All you can do is  wait. No answers are coming. No one has the right thing to say. God isn't revealing anything huge. All you can do is wait. 
It sucks! But the truth is its building your endurance. Because you've learned to endure it strengthens your character. Because you can see yourself uphold good character you have hope! When you've stood the test, didn't buckle under pressure, didn't take the easy way out, it says something about who you are. It also says that to yourself, "If I can handle this, maintain integrity and endure, then surely I can do that with other challenges". I believe this challenge for me will  make others easy. 

But OHHH the waiting! 

Today when I asked for prayer. One of my Facebook friends said to me, "Sharhonda don't you worry about anything. You just walk out of there the same way you walked in, and that's Strong." With strength and courage I walked into that doc office. I left feeling defeated but by the end of it I found my strength again.

In waiting I have to trust that the process is going as it should. I have several worries but each day requires prayer to help me follow the lead of the Spirit. It will take me time to get used to the way life is now. Prayerfully the test will come back and I'll get answers. Until then.... may patience have her perfect work.

Thanks for going along this journey with me Becomers! I'm often ranting but I hope that you find hope in my post. I hope that you can see that no matter what, I'm fighting to stay positive, to manifest my dreams, and to inspire others. If I'm not doing those things I'm not living my purpose. I am destined to live! Live on purpose!

So if you are in LIMBO Becomers, don't rush through it. I"m sure there's much to be learned in that place. Embrace it. Hold on for dear life. Endure and take it one day at a time. Soon enough the answers you seek will come froth.

I love you all!

Thanks for reading!!!!!

My Truth.

After being diagnosed with Trigeminal Neuralgia in October 2014. I really set out to discover the spiritual significance of my experience with a rare but painful illness.
I learned things about myself that made a difference in who I am and how I present myself to the world. I'm still becoming in that area.

Over the last six months or so I have developed an even stranger illness that effects various parts of my body in different ways, and at different times of the day. It has no preference of which symptom I'll experience when, it just comes and goes as it pleases.

During the course of feeling the way I have I've head to really explore the things I've said to others during times of grief or illness. I'm now in that very place I've attempted to help others become strong in. I've tried to comfort others and assist them in making it through their hardships with good intentions. I look back and wonder if there were times where my words did more damage than good.

I write this blog post today because I have to be honest about my truth. I write because the good intended words of comfort I have received sometimes sting more than they comfort. In the moment when you are confused and hurt, people come to you with words they think will encourage because its scripture.  People question your spirituality when you are sick. They conclude that you are far away from God and there's something that you need to do in order to be well. People jump right in to fix you because obviously your ailment has to do with some sin you have committed against God.

I could rant on these ideals forever, but allow me to interject the positive. People do their best to comfort you. To assist you through your hard times. They really want you better and often times they have no idea what to say. I had to take responsibility for my healing in these moments. I can't play the victim. I have to be proactive and say, "can you please not tell me that everything is okay because obviously its not okay right now". I have to make mention, "I know that God heals but in this moment this is what I feel and how I am coping right now". I have to let others know that "I don't want you calling me on the phone and telling me not to claim a sickness that I can clearly feel and see, it makes me crazy". *You can laugh because I did* :)
 For people who may be enduring anything in life, not just sickness, but any trial that is known to man, such as losing a loved one or suffering divorce; You can't not allow others to dictate the way you cope, or dictate the path you take to your healing. As my dad has taught me, that is between you and God.

For instance, I  had trouble forgiving a family member who did me wrong. I did not understand the depths of forgiveness and what to do until I read The Wisdom of Forgiveness by  Dalai Lama. I didn't find myself able to forgive until it was explained to me through the reading of this book. That was my pathway to forgiveness and I absolutely believe that was the path God lead me on. Others who don't believe in Buddhism or Hinduism may have shunned my reading of the book. However had I not picked it up I wouldn't have understood Jesus teachings as I had.

What I have chosen through prayer and thought is that my spirit, personality, soul, and mind and this sickness I'm battling is occupying the same space. Much like the t.v., the couch, and the coffee table are all in the living room. I am affected by what is in my environment. To say that I have nothing, that I'm not "claiming it" isn't reality to me. It makes me feel crazy. Something is here with me. I am acknowledging that fact. That's real to me. That makes sense in my natural mind.

In my spiritual mind. I believe in healing. I also see hundreds of people in the world who aren't healed in an instant and to me that is OK. No devil is occupying their space. No darkness is living with them. Has anyone thought of how that makes a person feel or think when these things are said? Of course bible stories have spiritual truths in them but I believe people skip them. I don't think they see and understand on the level that it takes to really truly and effectively change and impact someone's life.
People often take each story literally and then apply them to others lives not understanding that when you do not use these stories correctly they can do damage. So while it is important to take responsibility over your own healing, it is also important to be aware of others feelings, state of mind, and spiritual walk when attempting to help them.
Often times I've found listening helps more than anything. Being there is enough. Offering a service assist in getting well.

My truth. I'm living in the same body as an illness. It has effected my way of life. I would like to be healed. However people get sick everyday. I do believe its part of earth, its part of nature because one thing the bible does say that death worketh in us. In our bodies. It doesn't mean I'm dying today. It only means that this body will not be in a state of perfection everyday or any day of my life...... Our fleshly bodies do not live forever. Our spirits do. I do also believe that often times we may not be healed because contrary to popular belief God's will could be something very different than we think it is. He's loving. He's also not superman. He's not saving the day every time a villain comes along. We are responsible for ourselves in this earthly realm. Everything I can do to make sure I'm healthy is up to me! Instructions have already been given. So its my part to use this opportunity, YES, this OPPORTUNITY, to get it right. To do what I can on my end to make sure I'm healthy.

My healing is deeper than surface bodily healing. I think if any glory God will get from this its my ability to still hold on to his unchanging hand as I battle this condition. If he gets glory its in the fact that I gained spiritual nuggets and became closer to him as I continue on this journey. I'd rather grow from this than present a miracle of healing that others will see but not understand. It's a sacrifice but its worth it. That others may know God at a greater capacity than they have ever before. So that people may know truth deeper than they've ever known it. I'd rather do that than be a walking miracle that others will forget within a month.

Everyone deals with problems different. I choose to be realistic. It saves me the mysterious, smokey filled room in which I have to comb through riddles. I like to see it for what it is. I like to face the mountain head on. I like to fight through it. I may win some. I may lose some. Ultimately however, I believe having done the work, I can be a better human being. I will also have made a difference in the lives of others. Impacting them on a greater level.

Many people miss it. Many people don't understand that following God and honoring him isn't in the glitz and glamour. It isn't in the demonstration of power. True power is in love. We don't know that yet. Until we do, I don't believe we will know true power.



Message of Hope:

Dear Becomers know your truth.

I love you Becomers!!!!!!