Back at 1One.

While embracing and going with the flow of life I must say its been hard however my embracing of it makes it flow easier.
I'm not fighting against it I'm just being in the moment and walking in the way which I feel led to walk. I've been praying a lot, and asking others to pray for me. I've been prioritizing better and getting things in correct perspective.
So now today as a result of my recent adventures I say to my readers who are in the way to becoming, slow down, you have time. When we move in haste we can bring along unwanted chaos, drama, critics, and negative energy.
I can also say that I can see how chaos erupts in your life as a cry out for order. Things can get really weird, you can find yourself in places of unfamiliar pain, hurt, and despair. You can find yourself misunderstanding and misunderstood. In those moments I believe our lives seek order. Put it in order.
I asked the Lord in prayer where did I miss it, where did I go wrong......
I felt the spirit ask what was the first thing....so as Bryan McKnight sang so beautifully, I'm back at one.
Sometimes you have to go back in your mind and find out why you started along the path you did in the first place. What was the original idea, go back to that and keep it simple.
I've been lured away from the first thing by TV and others thoughts. I lost track of my own. With the world saying follow your dreams, own your own business, create your own path I somehow felt I should do that, losing sight of the truth that I've known where my passion lies for a very long time. I almost went so far off the mark set 10+ years ago, that I could have been lost in something that had nothing to do with my purpose.
Not having faith in yourself will do that to you.

Have faith not just in your higher power but have faith in yourself, your capabilities, the gifts granted you to offer the world.

I'm learning that we make mistakes, and choices that effect our entire lives, be wise, be thoughtful, be mindful, be honest, and pray often.

Message of hope: There's a guiding light within you, turn off the noise from the outside, listen to the voice of Spirit and follow the light of truth.
-Sharhonda

Embrace it!

Just finished watching Unconditional, a movie based on the life of a guy from Nashville, TN who turned his life around after spending time in prison he dedicated himself to the development of inner city kids. The story is just beautiful. I won't recap the entire movie, I just wanted to share how things like this movie renew my hope and fan the flames of my passion.
If you've followed my latest blogs you'll notice I've been in a state of frustration, doubt, discomfort, and anxiety about my present-future.
Anytime I can find a quote, passage, verse, movie clip, interview, etc that offers empowerment I'm front and center soaking it in.
Usually though these movie clips and words of encouragement find me. I need them, and they come along during my search or in accordance with a groan I've uttered not from my lips but from somewhere deep between my thoughts and my gut.
I needed to watch Unconditional tonight. I didn't realize the impact it would have on me.

Papa Joe, the main character in the movie, said when"Sarah" lost faith that it was ok because He, meaning God is patient.
I think of how I've questioned my process of becoming and realized while I'm frustrated with timing, I'm rushing myself as if I'm on some schedule, God knows and he's patient. Throughout my life experiences I've learned that we evolve all in our own time depending upon what circumstances we are provided with.  I interpret this as I should be patient with me. I'm being prepared. Because I'm focused on a goal I'll make it toward that goal no matter the mistakes or uncontrollable's.....
Besides nobody is rushing me, nobody has this expectation but me, and possibly society sense it moves so fast!
But anyway.....the truth?
>>I need to practice the art of stillness and just trust the process, go with the flow.
Now lets be real somethings are painful, they must be attended to but we can't let them disappoint us and lead us into automatic prediction of failure. Sometimes the course changes.
Having an extra dose of the anxiety gene sometimes leads to seeing the worst first....and it often frightens you before there's anything to be frightened of..... Dang gene! ;)

This year I prayed that God would help me narrow things down, truly find what it is I am to do and go for it. Indeed that is happening. Its what I sought for, intended and expected. I didn't know how that would come packaged, and crazy enough I was surprised when the package arrived! Lol But now I embrace it. I trust the process and believe in myself, The Tree! One day I'll write about how I can't believe I am where I am, then again I may say Look where I am because I embraced the process and went with the flow.

Message of hope: Persevere. Simple.

I'm a Tree!

My last post generated some very positive and eye opening comments. I was very frustrated and in my feelings about my current state of being. The comments shared were such jewels that I had to share my discovery!
So first I'd like to say a heartfelt thank you to those who lent their time and energy to read what I had to say. I appreciate you!

Secondly I'd like to make a few points.....
I was told I am the tree. I provided a shade for others to sit under......basically that I loved one part of me and loathed the other and that I needed to accept all of me.
My goodness the spiritual-emotional connection from that gave me butterflies.
I can see where that truth is active in my life. This has been a year of true awakening for me. Not at all easy because sadly enough there have been times I might have rather stayed asleep. However I needed to face somethings and if I didn't I could ruin my own life. My babies deserve more than that. So here I am sharing my success and failures with people from all over the globe.
Okay so back to the tree.
Without the loathsome part of me I couldn't provide the shade for people to sit under. I need to embrace that raggedy looking bark (lol I wish you could hear me say that)......... I am  embracing it. Period.
Which leads me to the other comment. Along the same lines that I am the tree, I bear a unique fruit. Maybe I don't see it all the time. This too rings true. Boy do I have some becoming to do!! Smh
In my last post I remember writing that I ask who I am and in the next moment may know full well who I am. I believe I have known but I've lacked necessary tools to support who I am. To stand up in it, and stick my chest out, proudly displaying me. All of me like superman with his S on his chest.
He's a superhero, no questions asked. He just is.
The tree just is.
I need to just be.
I am.

So with these wonderful insights I reckon the war I'm fighting with in me is accepting, not being afraid, not apologizing, and not caring about the people! Acceptance. That dang acceptance.
I believe by nature we try to attach ourselves to some group, and in its most primitive form its due to survival. The heart needs love and we need people to count on to help when we are down. People we can trust.
Being that like many others I've been hurt and my trust-o-meter is always on, Working overtime sometimes, Needs to be lowered or balanced at times lol but what I'm getting at is because of a few things in my life out of my control I now have to repair broken pieces in order for my life to make sense. In order for me to realize the tree that I am.

This morning I'm breathing in this fresh summer breeze, taking in all things God. I'm accepting of this truth and I'm applying it to my life. Even though I've been broken I now I have to not only see my brokenness but the whole and healed part of me that grew from that brokenness. I've been shaped and molded from several experiences in my life. Its made me who I am today. Am I perfect? Not quite but I'm strong, resilient, faithful, loving, caring, beautiful, smart, intellectual, joyful, and so many other things..............

I provide something great to those who can receive me and appreciate me.
I'm thankful for those loving and heartfelt people.
I'm thankful for learning my place and I'm thankful that I can focus more on where I want to go.
Life is full of challenges becomers. Depending on how hard you've been hit it can be hard to make a comeback but my loves its not impossible. I'm living proof!

Message of hope: We've been broken, bruised, abused, betrayed, lied on, and then someone had the nerve to press repeat! Lol right! But you are hear, reading about my mess, and you see I'm still pushing and because of that I have a lot to offer the world. Its the idea of the rose from the concrete. Something you thought impossible is possible and like my fav motivational speaker says "and its necessary!"
Becomers YOU ARE NECESSARY! Don't get caught hiding your greatness because of your brokenness. Your greatness will heal your brokenness!
-Sharhonda

I'm sharing a pic below that my son drew on 4th of July. My mom always buys chalk for the kiddies. My life must be going in the order that it should because the tree keeps popping up around me!
Thank you again for reading!

Which way do I go? Dang fork in the Rd!

Ever said to yourself...."I don't know where I am and where I'm going"?

I'm currently praying because as a dreamer I can imagine a thing at a great capacity, so much so that I get afraid. I believed my imagination, ideas and dreams to be things God would have me do. I then would say like Moses how God can I do these things, I'm inexperienced and I'm shy...lol (some can't see that now)

I'm not the one for this.....u know. But then I'd look at people who've already made it and said well look she's an actress, mother, model, singer, she's in great shape, and surely I can where those hats to!

I have held on to that belief that I was called and that I would become those things that
I was called to.  Problem?
The person I mentioned before has an entire team that makes her life work the way it does. In no way does she wear all those hats herself. Someone reminds her which one to put on when. They tell her what time she needs to change and she had to remember which are the most important first.

As I'm becoming I look around and I notice my bigger than life dreams could fit into some place but I have no idea where.

At every turn that I've attempted to use my inherited Divine powers to make something out of nothing I fail. I've went at it the wrong way. I've noticed it way to late, or it seems and I have no idea what else I should do.

In terms of a career I'm stuck. I don't just want to work I want it to have meaning. My life has been filled with things I'd wish on no one. I'm always asking WHO AM I?

In the next moment I may realize who I am and what I want.

But why do I have to endure this pain?
Its just life.

Oooh I'm rambling but.......

I'm at a fork in the road.
Who knows where I'll end up.
So far I've had about five businesses......all of them have been shot to sh*t as my late grandmother would say.

I'm learning and at this moment of becoming I'm at a fork in the road.
A church lady once prophesied to me that I was searching for my place and I'll find it and I'll know that's where I belong.
I'm waiting still ten years later.
If only I were like the tree, already understanding of my position, perform it day in and day out, bearing fruit in its season. Here I am a human being with a mind to think and still can't find my resting place.
Jesus take the wheel!

Message of hope:

Even in the midst of a storm, while the boat is tossing to and fro, there remains a lighthouse.

-Sharhonda