When I Don't Feel Good.

It's hard explain to others the amount of dis-ease and discomfort you feel when dealing with illness.

Someone calls at nine o'clock and ask how I am. I may be ok in the sense that the pain isn't totally present, my toes aren't being stung by bee's st the moment, and my legs don't feel like I have been burned by an iron. By nine thirty I'll be in that very state.

Life has been unpredictable. Can you imagine the stress of waking up feeling fine and then all of a sudden fatigue sets in. You just want to lay your head down until the fog clears. You may eat or double check to see if you have taken your meds. You battle in your mind about pushing hard versus resting. You have to choose to lay down or keep pushing. Both of them may cost you.

Each day is a different day. I feel good in my soul. My attitude is positive but my body feels weighed down and sluggish. I move very slowly and I don't worry about what others have to say. In those moments I have to endure this. I have to swallow this pill. I have to fight.
And it's hard.

This morning I woke up fine. Within two hours of being awake I feel terrible. I have pulled the covers over me. I decided to write my frustrations. Now because my head feels as if my brain is floating inside of it I'm going to rest.

To my butterflies. Even on hard days work to relate to others and inspire. It's where growth happens.