In the throws of life...

Today I'm a bit down. As in all my entries there's something involved with purpose; pursuing it, reaching it, and never giving up on it.
Purpose is such a major part of my genetic make up it seems.
I discovered the depths of my purpose around the age of twenty but I believe purpose has been lingering in my presence since I was a child. Life just had to have more meaning to it than what I could see with my eyes. I would rest on my grandmothers white yard swing perfectly situated under her pecan tree. I would rest there and enjoy nature, talk to God, and daydream so much so that I lived there more than I did my everyday life. Life in a daydream was filled with color, life, smiles, and wealth. Wealth as in a full life of happiness.
I have yet to experience this blissful life I've dreamed of but I've grasped moments of it that keep me alive. Spiritual experiences that keep me alive and keep me pursuing the things that make me happy.
Boy but life itself can seem so tortuous at times that you only want to escape your reality.
I've realized that through pain that I'm not living the life I'm designed to live. If I were living it I know that it wouldn't hurt so bad.
Passion, its strong, its powerful, it can lead you into depths of emotion that you didn't realize were even in you. Emotions that can lead you to places of despair without the one thing you crave and that's your purpose.
It could be money, relationships, personal struggles, doubt, anything that's in the way of you living your dreams. I want you purpose driven butterflies to stay focus and let love reign. I write from a broken place today but knowing who I am and what my desires are keeps me going. Knowing God and his goodness pushes me through. I have bad days where I can't see my way, where the light in the room seems dim. When I wonder have I not gotten all I need to get out of this life experience, have I not acquired all the tools needed to live this dream? Nevertheless, Knowing that I'm being developed and fine tuned helps me to be patient. My message to you is that the dream, the goal, the vision is for an appointed time and it will speak. The good work God has started in you he will see to completion. The breakthrough you seek is in an action you yourself must take. I do believe that. Structure your life in such a way your dream can live and your soul will be made whole because you'll be living on purpose and in purpose which will give you life beyond any you have known before. When your struggle is over look to God and say thank you. Be grateful for all you went through and came out of. May you touch many lives and transform many minds!

Starting over..

There was a show that used to air called Starting Over. Life coaches assisted various women through different stages of their lives that were difficult for them to get through alone. They were stuck. Stuck in an emotional past that hindered them from moving forward in their present lives.
These women were determined to get there lives together but had several obstacles to beat before being able to do so.
It's amazing how our minds can work for us and then work against us all in one.
You can be doing all you know to do with good intentions only to find out later that even your best wasn't good enough. However it wasn't good enough so to speak because it wasn't the truth of who you are.
You can be living life the best you know know how but if you are always carrying around your hurt, nurturing it, pacifying it, and holding onto it like it's a baby wrapped in a blanket, you are most likely living from that pain and seeing everything through the lenses of your trauma.
You are presenting a wounded and damaged person over and over again. You are feeling misunderstood but could it possibly be that you have been misrepresenting yourself for a very long time. Maybe they don't get you, or me, because we simply have shown them who we are in our pain, anxiety, stress, anger, fear, hurt, betrayal, mistrust, or any of the negative behaviors, thoughts, or feelings we took on as a result of life's difficult circumstances. They misunderstand you because they haven't seen the real you beyond your pain.
But we can start over.

Let me say that no one may understand us all of the time but if we carry around the label misunderstood then it could be due to the fact that we constantly project behaviors without clear understanding of what we are doing, or why. Search yourself as I am doing to see where your thinking is in error and work to heal. I know it doesn't feel good being the only one in your head understanding and people outside of your head don't have a clue.....
Could there possibly be an end to feeling the loneliness associated with being misunderstood? A cure, if you will.... An elixir?
I think possibly it could be and that would be learning to understand yourself and then you may understand how the world views you.
I certainly feel misunderstood, judged wrongly but I know with my determined self that I'll heal, I'll be accepted by those who deserve my love and who will not abuse it.
Message of hope: be patient with yourself. You can start over. You don't have to forget but reliving your pain everyday is not an option either. Work each day to see through new eyes.
There is hope and you aren't beyond repair!

Keeping it real!

I'm no saint.
How many people can say that and own their mess?
How many people will stand up, take off the mask and admit that while they give great words they aren't without sin, fault, mistakes, or wrongdoing?
How many will give the truth?
In my lifetime I've found many preachers of Do Right! Many preachers of Get Your House In Order! Many people who give advice on how anothers house should be ran or conducted and will give the law from the book that should be followed but ignore the sin in their own hearts.
My! My! My!
Our world today is filled with judgments, condemnation, and with things we would do if that was us but honestly it's probably been us or could be us. No one is exempt from  stupidity! It doesn't matter how smart you think you are or how close your walk with God. You are human and you have the potential to fail.
I dare someone to cast the stone.
I'm ranting because I'm there. I'm her. Broken but not destroyed. It's called grace.

See folks it's not that we need to mind our own business in as much as we need to love people through their mess.
Yes I'm always talking about love.
It's the one thing when applied to even the most terrible of situations that will heal and change a life.

Our judgment, or turning up of the nose, or cutting of the eyes....leave that on the dusty shelf it came off of. Truth is you knew there was no need of it when you grabbed it.
The other dusty object you never grab because you can barely see it is TRUTH IN LOVE. Pick it up, shine it, and get it ready for use.

There's a game called TIT FOR TAT. Believe it or not scientist have used this very game and studied how people react to loving versus anger driven responses. Given the name you should know that if you start out with a negative action the reaction will in defense be negative. If the person so chooses to react in love and forgive your anger driven response, your next reaction will be in love. Love begets love. If we give more of it then I do believe we will get more LOVE out of our world. Less ignorant judging of situations. More healing of broken, battered, bruised people.

Message of hope:
If you have committed any sin. First know that God forgives you and loves you. Also know that there are people who have walked where you are in your sin. Know that you are loved. Cared for, and understood. Learn from this. Go and sin no more.

Don't let the judgments of others cause you to lose your life. No matter your sin you still have a life to live and all the more because you can help someone else out of any negative situation they find themselves in. Simply because you have overcome.

Keep becoming butterflies! We got this.