Through the Storm

No one could have ever told me a year ago that I would have been the sufferer of a rare but major chronic pain condition called Trigeminal Neuralgia.

I couldn't have foreseen it.

I don't think I would have believed it because the path I have been on is one of purpose and determination.

I don't think I ever envisioned something like this being a storm I'd have to PASS THROUGH in order to reach my divine destination.

When you picture in your mind the road it will take to get to your dream, you may see a few yield signs, yellow flashing lights, you may even think of some detours. How often do you think of a chronic condition being one of those flashing yellow lights?

This journey has been painful. It has been emotional. It has been tiring and outright exhausting.

My spiritual walk has been put on the line. What do I believe, who do I believe, and how are these faith principles working in my life right now?

I've been known to be a woman of faith. People hear me speak and automatically say, "I know you are a woman of God". I don't have to speak of my faith.

Right now in this moment, as a woman of faith, a woman who believes God to do the impossible through his earthly vessels (you and me), in this moment I am seeking God to find out why this is my current situation and what is it that I must gain through this experience.

My spirit says, there's something to gain. Something spiritual in nature. This experience will make something out of me that I had not fathomed before. I know it will.

When I first became sick. I was stronger in my opinion and what I stood for. It made me stand up within myself with less apologies. I'm still becoming.....

I have grown throughout my life, working to become a strong woman, like one I've seen before. Graceful but Mighty in Strength!

I have worked toward being this woman. She doesn't come without a price. She's costly. Money can't buy her.... its worth fades against her character. The world I'm not sure is ready for her... But she is coming.

I know now more than I have before, what this #TN journey means... its a revealing of who I am in Christ. In his consciousness, in his light, and more than anything in his love. It's a telling about his grace. It's a telling about what he looks like for real. Who better to understand Christ, than one who suffers and needs his touch.

Having never suffered you may not know him as I have learned him. I am not boasting... but giving my perception. The bible says we must die with him that we might live with him. Another scripture says I die daily.....

I think I'm somewhere on that path of spiritual rebirth and aliveness. I have to gain these nuggets of wisdom and I have to live upright.

I believe people may need me in a capacity that I can't quite fathom.

My prayer:

God use me. It's always been my prayer. It's what my life has been about. Purpose. His people. His love. His gracious love. In the most purest form that I can deliver it from this human body... I would like to give that to others.

I'm not perfect. I'd like to get close to it in spirituality as I can. Perfection meaning pure, unadulterated, clean, holy, and righteous, integral love and compassion.

I want to reach that high place. It goes deep and I believe my journey through illness is creating that space for me.

I haven't even began to bend to this journey yet as I should. I'm still caught in the emotions of it. It HURTS! Physically and emotionally the pain is deep.

But I know that God is with me, and if he's with me then he's leading and guiding me through this process. I must get it all before I can move on to greater.

It's spiritual.

I believe I'm going to get it.

My life has been set up in such a way that I will.

Through the storm Butterflies, don't get caught up in the pain. Pray your way through it. Gather all of the support you can from family and friends. Tell your story it will help keep you free. Love everybody even when you'd rather close the door and not love at all.

Through the storm LIVE.


-Sharhonda Kirksey