This morning I sit out here on my porch and I am thankful for the places in life God has brought me through. I'm even more thankful that I moved through them and didn't get stuck. Adaptability is a trait that you must acquire on your way to becoming. One of the greatest things I believe you have to become accustomed to is loss. You lose things by taking risk and you also lose relationships, friends, and family.
It can be very heartbreaking. I recently watched a YouTube video that talked about how a friendship break up felt like a girlfriend/boyfriend break up. The feelings involved both are to me like grieving a loss. Something that was meaningful to you has now for one reason or another been lost. In many instances there's no room for recovery. It's dead as a door knob. Guess what Becomers......that's ok. It is okay to lose something in that it's a part of life. When relationships fail it's the death of a thing. As my sister Iyanla Vanzant puts it when discussing the age old marriage vows "Till death do us part"....it could be not only death of a marriage itself but death of trust, death of intimacy, death of respect, death of anything that normally holds that friendship together. And I say just like the death of anything mourn if you must but gather yourself back together and move on. We will be or feel forsaken, abandoned, and left behind in this game of life. You will meet people who you love and trust. You both will have a perception about each other. When you are no longer seeing that person in the same light it's up to you to communicate that with each other. If it can't be resolved there in lies the death in that relationship. After reaching out and trying then it seems best to let it go.
Pain isn't always so bad. I'll say that again. Pain isn't always so bad. I had to repeat that to myself! I've heard this over and over and could never grasp or put together pain and good in the same sentence. But I can see in this instance how the pain works in your favor. It first indicates that something was lost, secondly it opens the for you to reassess where you are in life, who your friends are, and what you can do differently in future relationships, and thirdly it builds your endurance on the way to becoming! See yourself even a month from now responding within in your relationships with better clarity. See yourself a year from now maybe losing anything but having built strength to weather the storm and get back to becoming! And if nothing else pain is a motivator.
Quick story: My 8 year old was outside riding his bicycle and the neighbors kids started whispering and pointing at him. They have a history of antagonizing my son. My son gets discouraged and gets off his bike and comes into the house. I tell my son one monkey doesn't stop the show. He didn't quite understand. So I said if you were at the circus and you were enjoying the show. One monkey happens to fall off, you would still want to see the elephants dance! (that's my wild imagination). I said what if they just shut the entire circus down.
My son continues to look at me, wanting to be hugged and kissed because he hurts so bad. I said son if you were out their winning and somebody tells you that you can't, you don't sit on the sidelines, no you don't let them stop the show. You keep winning! My little 8 year old no longer needs hugs at this point. The competitive side in him awakened. He stood up and started walking toward the front door. I said wait where are you going? My son replies "I'm going back out to get on my bike like you said."
I had a proud mother moment in that hour because he got up and stood his ground. He didn't let the situation defeat him. My son wants acceptance just like the rest of the human race. Often times the same race of people that yearn for love reject those who need it. Even if we are rejected, cut off, or forsaken we have no excuse to lay down our joy. We have no excuse to lay down our passions. We have no excuse to put down anything that brings us life. Anything that fulfills you, brings you joy do not put it down because of a loss or disappointment. Cry if you must, but get up, dust off, and keep pursuing.
Life has a funny way of teaching us valuable lessons but it's important that we listen.
In the title of this blog it says.....but not forgotten.
We aren't forgotten because even in the loss of things, some things still remain. We learn to appreciate those things more because of loss. I also believe that life will balance us out. You have lost but you will gain and I have faith that whatever you gain will be meaningful and fulfilling. It'll be just what the Dr. ordered!
On your way to becoming butterflies don't let a loss detour you from your goals and your belief in who you are as a person. You matter. You are important.I pray you gain people in your life who affirm that.
Close that chapter. Turn the worries off in your head and keep going. Life has greater things awaiting!
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